I recently had an experience where I felt really triggered (by that understand: pissed off) by somebody else’s behavior. I went to a networking event, it was a new women international network in the region, their 2nd event and my first time with them. There was the opportunity to introduce yourself to the rest of the group and I was doubting whether to do it on the spot or wait for next time (I am still a shy little girl inside ;-). But at some point, a woman started talking. She was a life coach. Her introduction was quite thorough (trying to stay positive here…) and what struck a chord with me, and annoyed me immensely was that I felt she was sooooo full of herself. I found that really disgusting (and was wondering if I was the only one with that reaction!). And obviously, after that I kept quiet and did not introduce my services nor myself.
Of course, that says a lot more about me than about her. It says that this is my shadow, this is a part of me I don’t want to see, I don’t want to ever appear arrogant. In my family humility is a virtue, and arrogance a sin… And it made me think a lot and discuss it with my friends. Our conclusion was that the difficulty is to find your own balance, being able to talk about yourself and your successes (instead of staying shy and saying nothing…), but doing it in a natural way, and being in alignment with yourself. Too much arrogance can also be a sign of lack of self-confidence that you are trying to hide with appearing over confident…
And the other thing is, without wanting too generalize too much ;-), this is more of a feminine trait. Men seem to have fewer issues with talking about their successes than women, don’t you think?
I know where I am and I know that I still have some work to do there, but how about you? Do you find it difficult to talk about you and your successes, or does it come easily? Does arrogance trigger you, or not? If you find it easy, I’d love to hear how you do that!!!! And if not, I’d love for you to start a list: the list of the things you are proud of, the list of your achievements. They can be professional as well as personal (one of mine is getting my motorbike driving license in The Netherlands while not speaking Dutch fluently at the time ;-), so don’t restrict your self here. And keep the list open so that you can always add more, and easily accessible so that you can re-read it and feel proud!
Have a great week!!!