Yesterday I posted a pic on my FB page with a few mantras (and reposted them on WordPress!), and it started a conversation with a male friend on one of those, namely: “I come first”. So I thought I should expand on this topic a bit more!
Why (and who) do I advise to use this mantra? Well, I noticed that many of us have a tendency to give their time, energy, help to other people, but sometimes up to the point where they don’t have enough left for themselves (and risk a burn out!). Do you maybe recognize yourself in that picture? Of course, there is nothing wrong with helping others and being of service, on the contrary. What I think is wrong is doing it without first caring for our own needs, our need for rest, our need for me-time, our family needs, etc. How can we help others if we already feel depleted?
So when I say: “I come first”, I am not planning on advising all of us to become egocentric, I am simply saying that self-care is needed first! Think about young kids. Aren’t they egocentric? Don’t they think first about what they want? Don’t they claim what they want (sometimes pretty loudly even!)? And do we hold grudges? No, of course not, we understand it, we accept it even.
So why does it then become “a bad thing” when we grow up? Because it contradicts other values our parents are trying to teach us, and specifically “being charitable”. Well, as always it’s a question of balance…
If you feel you have difficulty asserting yourself and caring for your needs, here’s the link to another post where I gave some advice on how to set boundaries politely 😉
The other character trait I want to mention here, that also has a bad reputation, is impatience. Well I claim being impatient, and although I make regular attempts to become more patient, today I even felt happy to be impatient. Because I believe impatience is driven by desires, and to me it simply means I have dreams, desires (hence I exist!), and I am motivated to see those fulfilled as quickly as possible. It also motivates me to take action so that I do my part of the job to see my desires fulfilled, to see my dreams come true more quickly!
I relate my impatience to my drive, my motivation, my inner fire, and that to me is the wonderful upside of impatience 🙂
I wish you a wonderful week!