(And yes I know Whitney Houston is singing that ;-))
About a week ago, I manifested something I had asked for: a part-time job to complete my current activities and bring more ease to our finances. We first celebrated that properly, but with time passing, I started getting worried (about being able to do it all…) and having difficulties falling asleep. It culminated with a back pain yesterday, more than enough signs for me to stop and listen to myself. I cancelled all planned activities for this weekend in order to move as little as possible, and take as much rest as possible. I also wore my special belt to support my back.
So why am I telling you all this? Because I had to think about Support in general, the one we give to our self and the one we receive, the one we ask for and the one we receive without asking, and I felt it was important to share my ideas about that.
- Obviously, I believe we should be the first ones to look at what we need and to give it to ourselves as much as possible. So… Is it rest we need, is it a comforting shoulder, is it a place to stay to escape our not-so-healthy environment for a few days, is it somebody we can delegate things to (like cleaning or cooking), is it to plan less (appointments, clients, whatever) in our agenda, is it more exercise, more self care, or a big hug? Let’s see for ourselves what would help us get out of worry / overwhelm / funk… In my case, it really was a mix of those so I ended up resting a lot, clearing my agenda, delegating the cleaning for the next 4 months, and promising myself to not overbook myself (although I need to be held accountable for that by my friends!)
- Many of us have difficulties asking for help. We might feel too vulnerable and don’t want to let people see this aspect of our selves. Or maybe we think we will be “too much” to others. And yet, what others think of us is only a reflection of who they are, not who we are. So if we don’t allow that from us, it simply means this is something we repress from ourselves, we don’t want to see it, to be vulnerable, to be a burden… But on the other hand, doesn’t people who show their vulnerability touch us, and how often do we think our friends are a burden?
- So, as a first step, how about simply being honest with our family/loved ones and sharing our truth: admitting we are entering our cave but would love to be pulled out of it, or that we wish to be left alone for a while until we decide to resurface? Or that we would love them to come for a tea and a hug without having to ask for it? Our best friends will know anyway that something is going on, be it because we don’t give news, or because they notice it in our voice…
- How about asking your invisible team for help? Help in manifesting support, creative ideas, clearing your agenda, whatever. I, for one, am guilty of not doing that often enough, whereas we are told that they are simply waiting for us to ask…
- Even though it might still be a stretch, try and ask at least one person for one thing that you need and that would help you feel better.
- And you know what: when you help yourself by doing all those things, you automatically get help from others too (it’s the famous “God helps those who help themselves” in action…)
So go on and be a good friend to yourself!
Have a wonderful week!