Change can be very uncomfortable. For most of us, it is definitely, most of the times. And at the very least, it requires some effort on our side. Changing job, moving place, moving country, becoming a parent, getting into a new relationship or stopping an existing relationship, our kids leaving the nest, the death of a loved one, those can all be challenging situations to face.
So why do we have to put ourselves through it?
I can see the following reasons for change:
- Not changing is becoming more uncomfortable than changing. If we get stuck in a relationship that’s going the wrong direction, and we don’t have any hope of it transforming for the best, then stopping it seems to be the best solution, even though it means putting your kids (and yourself) through an ordeal for a while. If we get stuck in a job, and the only thing we want when waking up in the morning is to stay in bed, it’s time to look for another one…
- If we don’t change, we can’t expect others (or the situation) to change. As Tony Robbins, says, “By changing nothing, nothing changes”. We may want our partner to be more sensitive to our needs, we may want people to respect us more, but if we do nothing about it, how are they going to know that that’s what we want? To command respect from others, we need to show respect for ourselves first, and we need to set our boundaries loud and clear. It’s only by changing our attitude that they will notice the difference and adapt their behavior. If they don’t adapt, fine too, we know what to do 😉
- Changing is learning. I don’t know about you, but I am an avid learner and I always want to learn something new, and to develop myself, my skills, my abilities. So I take (nearly) every occasion I can to learn. Even though it can be very scary. When I started going to networking events as an entrepreneur, I had to start talking to strangers and introducing myself…When I started teaching, in front of a classroom filled with around 30 students, me, the shy and introvert Madeleine, I had to overcome a lot of fear and to going far beyond my comfort zone… But I am still there, learning something different now, but always learning…
- The environment is changing and you have to adapt. Maybe not the preferred reason for change I admit, but still a good reason to learn, develop your self. Definitely a good time to assess your wants and needs and check if they are still met… And if not, take responsibility for your self and claim what you want and what you need, and it’s yet another opportunity to grow as a human being.
- The only constant is change (dixit Heraclitus). In that context, standing still is actually moving backwards… We can’t stop change more than we can make time stand still, so let’s embrace change instead of resisting it!
I wish you a wonderful week full of (positive) changes!
Much love, Madeleine