Declutter your life!

Hello gorgeous,

This looks like a new theme for me… In the space of a week, it came back a few times during conversations with friends, in my Pinterest feed, etc. so I guess it means I need to pay attention ;-). I have already started decluttering my house and giving or selling clothes that we don’t use anymore, but this is not just about physical clutter. There are all kinds of clutter: email clutter (I have about 900 in my inbox…), electronic clutter (and my computer is getting slower and slower), paper clutter… and, last but not least, mind clutter! I am guilty of all, are you too?

That being said, it doesn’t mean we all need to transform ourselves into Marie Kondo’s… Moreover, her minimalist style doesn’t suit all of us! As much as I would love to see my house organized and tidy, having kids make it difficult to keep it tidy at all times anyway!

The whole purpose of decluttering is making space for new things (and / or people). If your life is full already, there’s no space to receive or welcome anything else. No space for more “stuff” in the house, no time for another activity, no time for yourself, no time for new relationships… But if you manage to create some emptiness here and there, you are showing your willingness to make space for the new. And yet, like all of you, I know how difficult it can be to end a relationship (or to realize it has ended already), quit your job to take a risk, and get rid of stuff that you keep “just in case”… I am not going to give you advice on how to declutter, I let the pros do that part, but I just wanted to encourage you to let go of what does not serve you, be it clothes, shoes, old papers, old books, old stuff, and to notice afterwards how much lighter and better you feel after this exercise!

If, on the contrary, your life feels empty already, well that’s good news; it means you already have space for something new, so I want to encourage you to use it properly, use it for something/someone that you choose yourself and that you really want, instead of letting nature fill the emptiness with things and people you don’t want, because it will if you let it… J

And now is a good time for me to declutter a cupboard…

Clutter isn't just the stuff in your closet. It's anything that gets between you and the life you want to be living.

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

Much love, Madeleine

Inspire and be inspired

Hello gorgeous,

When was the last time you were inspired by someone who crossed your path? Does it happen often? I believe we are conditioned to notice more the behaviors we don’t like, but less often the ones we find inspiring… Aren’t we always focusing on what we can improve instead of what is already good? (And isn’t corporate life and its yearly reviews a perfect example of pointing the finger at what went not so well?)

Well, this morning I brought my husband and mother-in-law to the airport, and the airline employee at the desk was such a joy, he was welcoming, warm, with a sense of humor, and all that at 7.45 on a Sunday morning… I felt compelled to compliment him (because I find it so rare!).

So that got me thinking about being an inspiration for others and being inspired like I was. How often am I an inspiration to my kids or my husband? How often am I an inspiration to my friends? When do they inspire me?

I have therefore been looking for a few keys to be an inspiring person, and that’s what I want to leave you with today:

  • Speak your truth: no matter what it is you do, authenticity will always pay off. Even if you feel vulnerable sharing, share it anyway. Be true to yourself. People will relate to you, they will know where you stand and they will trust you.
  • Lift people up: a compliment will work wonders and bring back a smile on a frowned face. Hugging a child or a friend will show them how much you care, and that’s priceless. Show them the glass half full when they see it half empty. Help them notice how far they’ve come. Help someone in need. Help an old lady to cross the street. Compliment a child who just did a drawing. Tell them how proud you are.
  • Be enthusiastic: being a fun and open-minded person is attractive and contagious. Make people laugh, make people smile. Show them that you are happy to be around them. Be the one who makes suggestions and is always open to try new things. Talk with passion about the topics you care about.
  • Shoot for the moon: be ambitious. Ambitious people believe they can reach the stars and they will do whatever it takes. Be such a person. Work on improving your life constantly, and you will pull others up on your way.
  • Believe in people, challenge them: even (and specially) when they themselves don’t! If they know you believe they can do it, they will do it more easily because they will want to prove you right.

Can you remember who was the last person who inspired you and why? I would love to know about them, please share if you can!

girls' weekend guide to

Finally, I would like to thank all of you for your kind messages, I love reading them every time, so please continue!!!

 

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

 

Much love,

Madeleine

Can we really change?

Hello gorgeous,

Some weeks ago, I watched a (long) video starring Tony Robbins in an interview and one of the things he said really stayed with me, and that’s what I want to talk about now. This same topic (“can one really change”) once caused a big disagreement with a friend of mine. I think Tony Robbins would have managed to get us to agree ;-). In case you don’t know who this big tall guy is, have a look at https://www.tonyrobbins.com.

My view was that people could change and hers was that they could not. Well, what Tony says is that it is easy to change if you decide to change a pattern instead of thinking of changing as a human being. I think he is right. Although we do change during those years (who here hasn’t heard something along the lines of: “you are not the same than the person I met/married…” or could have said that to her/his spouse?…), we don’t see change as being easy, and we often give up before we try…

It is true that change requires work and patience. If it were easy, we (and humanity) would be a lot further in our personal development… But so does mastering a sport or a skill, and still we do that (when we are motivated…). We learn how to walk, even though it means falling and getting up countless times before we finally manage, we learn how to cycle, first with the small wheels, then without, we learn to play an instrument (in my case, even with a helluva lot of work, I don’t think I will ever be a good drummer, but who cares! ;-))…

When we are busy changing, we step into our Learning zone, out of our Comfort zone, which can be painful. But only until we complete the change process and it becomes part of our comfort zone. But we never gain anything by staying all the time in our comfort zone…

I think what matters is why we are doing it, what motivates us to change. Is it pain or pleasure? I believe that pain avoidance is a bigger motivator than pleasure seeking. But what I am sure of is that we need to have a big Why in order to go through the change process and keep going until the new habit is installed and becomes our new routine…

And it helps as well to see some results quickly to keep going…Research says (My reference here is Robin Sharma and Mindvalley) that it takes 66 days to get a new habit installed. 66 days is pretty long if you need to wait all that time to see some results of your efforts. But some can also be visible pretty quickly. When I started a gratitude journal for instance, it made me feel good every time I was writing, and so feeling good became more constant in my life, but luckily it didn’t take 66 days to see that and feel that way! Or if you intend to start the Miracle Morning routine (read Hal Elrod’s book or my blog post here), you should also notice rather quickly that you are feeling better, sharper, more focused etc. after only a few short weeks. So think about that when you want to make a change. How long is it going to take for you to see some improvement of your situation?

One thing that helped me, when I was busy installing a new habit, was to install a new routine for it (and what put me off was changing my regular routine, like travelling etc…) that fitted it. So for instance, to write on the gratitude journal before going to bed, having my journal always on my bed side made it easy to do it every time (while being in a different place made me interrupt it). What works for me too is external triggers, like reminders on my phone or post-it notes on my screen or on the fridge, until they become transparent and we don’t see them, notice them anymore, which means it’s time to change them to a different place/sound etc.!

So… what (next) change are you considering? Let me know!

Change is hard at first

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

Much love, Madeleine

Why wait?

Hello gorgeous,

Have you done your bucket list yet? (If not I encourage you to stop right here and do it, and I share a template for you in this email – but feel free to use any piece of paper you’d like, or your bullet journal for that!) You know, listing all those things that you want to do / see one day before you die? Ok, now you have it? Does it look exciting? Any parachute jumps or big trekking trip? New languages to learn, skills to develop, places to see?…

Well, it’s not enough to have a nice looking list full of nice things, the next step is actually to go and plan and do those things. Because if you don’t, then they were just dreams you never thought you would realize one day, but it just seemed nice at the time of writing… I would like to suggest making 2018 the year when you cross most of those items off your list (don’t worry about finishing the list, if you do, I am sure you will get more dreams to fulfill!)? Because, why wait? For more money? More free time? More energy? Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to come to you if you don’t work for it and make some tough choices sometimes. And good health is not a given, it’s also something you need to work hard to maintain, by taking good care of yourself… Sorry to shake you off a bit, but “Life is what you make it”, so make yours one to remember!

About a week ago, I did one of those items on my bucket list. I had always dreamed of trying pole dancing but had never actually done anything about it, apart from taking the flyer from the pole dance school the closest to us. But it suddenly hit me, what was I waiting for, if I wasn’t going to plan it, it would never happen, so let’s go and do it! So I gave a phone call, found a girlfriend to come with me, and off we were, turning around the pole ;-). And we had a blast! (And yes, we are going back! And yes, I remembered I had abs, but well hidden deep inside)

So yes, this one was simple to make happen, but I am sure you have some of those on your list too… Maybe it’s a new sport, maybe it’s a new language, maybe it’s a country you want to visit, take this first step, make an appointment, find a language school (on or offline), get information on the country you want to see, etc… But be a go-getter, go get your dreams today!

I hope this made you think a bit about your bucket list 😉 Please share your actions with me!

 © Madeleine Royere Spiritual Coach

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

Much love, Madeleine

5 ways to be stimulate your creativity

Hello gorgeous,

Creativity is very important to me. I love creating, be it writing a blog post or crocheting a new amigurumi, or inventing a new game when preparing a lesson, or preparing a new challenge… Creativity is something that I dearly cherish and nourish. And sometimes when I feel it’s (momentarily) gone, I feel depressed and am impatient to feel it again!

You might not have that same relationship with creativity, however I believe being creative can help anyone of us in our daily life. It helps finding solutions to problems or challenges we face, it makes us grow as we do something differently than we used to, it makes us proud of ourselves for having come up with a different solution.

How can we stimulate creativity? I found 5 ways that work for me and hope they can help you too!

  • Keep creating and practicing your craft. If it’s writing you are after, you probably already know about the morning pages and are probably doing them already. When I stopped writing for my blog, because of a serious lack of time, I thought that the source had dried and that I would not feel inspired again to restart and keep it going again. But here I am, a few weeks down the road, and still feeling inspired, simply because I went back into the habit of writing every week… As with crocheting, practicing simply makes me more of an expert, the more I do, the more I can try out things by myself and invent new patterns, instead of following somebody else’s pattern…
  • Don’t censor yourself. Like during a brainstorm, you first need to express everything – even what you would consider stupid – before you can start ordering ideas and keep the best ones. Like no dream can be too big, no idea can be too crazy, there is always something good to take from it, and isn’t it how the best inventions were created?
  • Put yourself in somebody else’s shoes. If you feel you can’t come up with a solution to a problem for instance, but you know somebody who always has ideas, ask yourself: what would this person do?
  • Get some headspace. Creativity needs space to express itself. If you are too busy to stop for a moment, to relax, to read, maybe to meditate, then you don’t have space for creativity. So make space in your agenda and in your head, park issues and to-do lists for a while, you’ll get back to them after, and let your brain wander and create…
  • Ask for help. Of I might lose some of you here… but for the ones who believe we are guided, ask your guides and angels for help on a specific issue / question. I would like to refer you to a TED talk I have seen ages ago, from Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote “Eat, Pray, Love”. She suggest we have a genius instead of being a genius… Watch it here: https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius/transcript?language=en

I hope to have given you some clues! Please share yours with me!

You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

Much love, Madeleine

Finish what you start!

Hello gorgeous,

When I was in the corporate world, I once did a personality test called the Belbin Team Roles test. It divides personalities into 9 roles, one of which is a Completer Finisher. Of course, we all have not just one but a few key roles we normally use. The test suggests that, in order to set up an efficient team, one should make sure all roles are represented. Needless to say, one of the roles that I have difficulties taking is this one. I love the energy of creating and starting up something, but much less the energy needed to complete a task… My mother sees me that way too, as somebody who likes to start but who never finishes… And I don’t dare to count the number of online courses I indeed started but haven’t finished yet…

The only problem with that is, the people who succeed are the ones who complete their tasks, not the ones who give up just before the finishing line… And I want to be successful, of course…

So what do I do about that? The answer is: find strategies and motivation to complete my tasks! This is what I came up with and would like to share with you today 🙂

  • Get an accountability partner: it could be a colleague, a friend, or a group on Facebook, what really matters is that you express to somebody else what you plan to do, because once you do that, you commit to yourself to finish it, and you probably prefer to finish it than to have to apologize and find excuses for not finishing ;-).
  • Keep an Accomplishment Journal or list: what a great list to maintain! You can call it: “I am proud of myself for…“ or “My accomplishments” or whatever you like, but it’s a wonderful list for building your self-confidence and advancing in life. It’s also a great list to look at when you are feeling a bit depressed for whatever reason, because it reminds you of how great a person you are and how much you can accomplish when you set your mind to it.
  • Treat / Reward yourself: sometimes the feeling you get when finishing a task is already worth the while, but sometimes more is required. The bigger the task, the bigger the reward of course ;-)! No need to spend tons of money for that, it could be as simple as taking the time to rest outside with a book, take a nap, call a friend, whatever you feel like but never do because you always have so much left to do…

What are your strategies to keep going and finishing your tasks? I’d love to know!

Creative success means balancing your love of starting things with a habit of finishing them.

Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!

Much love, Madeleine

On competition…

Hello gorgeous,

I am always amazed by how much our kids have such distinct personalities, right from the start, and how sometimes those personalities seem to be so far away from our own…

Take 2 kids playing for instance. Often, they are really competitive and hate to loose. At school, they play team sports and have to compete in teams. If they happen to be quite good at a specific sport, they will be pushed to go even further and to compete. Plus, there can only be one first in class, and a second and a third…

I personally have an issue with competition. I don’t feel competitive and I don’t like that. It just doesn’t fit with me. Maybe I could explore my block with that but not just now ;-). And then, the funny thing is that there is one thing that I hate, and it’s being “average”. That word makes my hair stand on end… I don’t care about being the first in class. I just don’t want to be “average”. I want to be “different”, I want to be “unique”, I want to be “special”…

So how do I reconcile those? First of all, I believe there is space for everybody to excel in what they like. I don’t see life as limited, with only one winner. I think we can all exist and that there is enough for all of us. Enough partners, enough clients, enough money etc… Me getting something does not mean somebody else is not getting his share. Because we are all different and unique and our individuality is simply beautiful. People will be attracted to us because of who we are and because of our uniqueness.

Secondly, I still believe in competing… with ourselves. I believe we are here to learn, grow, develop, become a better version of ourselves, day in, day out. I also think we don’t take enough time (and not regularly enough) to look at how much we grow and develop. I remember a time, about 8-10 years ago, when I was wondering about the meaning of life. I was thinking, so now I have a partner, 2 kids, a good job, and nice house, so what does it mean for the other half of my life? Will it be about keeping what I now have, or is there something else to it? Well, I definitely wasn’t prepared for the bumpy ride I got since…But I am happy I went through it, because I feel I have grown a lot, and have become a lot wiser too!

So, the only person you have to compete to… is yourself!

The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday

I am curious to know how you feel about competition… Let me know on the blog!!!

I wish you a wonderful week!

Much love, Madeleine