This week I have been confronted to different types of rejection, that I had to process, slowly but surely, in order to get my usual self back. I had an interview for a part-time job and after a few days the answer was a No; I also got a No from a girlfriend to come to my next women circle.
I think it took me a few days to process it (specially the first one!). And luckily I also experienced good surprises this week, such as an unexpected gift coming via the post and nice messages from my girlfriends. Plus it was the Xmas week so that’s always good! 😉
But that made me think about how best to process any kind of rejection. As your mind can say something that will sound good, like “it’s not about you, it’s about the fit with the job/ it’s about her path, not yours / it says nothing about you…” But, deep down, it is difficult not to take it personally, and your heart will still feel hurt and pained…
So what are the steps that I took to finally get over those?
- Accept the pain, do not reject or deny it.
- Ask yourself what it is that you need, do you need to process it with someone for instance? I had the opportunity to do that, I was on Skype with a colleague and girlfriend, and our plan was to look forward to next year and revisit our Be Do Have list. So when I asked myself what did my heart want at the time, I felt a stronger push to do what we had planned, and not to process the rejection. But if it had been the other way around, I would have asked her to do just that. The point here is to check with yourself as often as possible about what it is that you need to feel good (or better!) and then do just that, in the moment.
- After our exercise, and looking forward (and backwards a bit too, to see what we had accomplished!), I felt much better, I could feel that my energy had shifted already, just by being busy with positive things.
- Receiving support from my girlfriends was also a great help. Knowing that they cared about my well-being. The message that I still remember was: “It’s not that you are not good enough for the job, you are too good for it” (thanks Em!!!)
- The last step was about letting go and trusting that it would all be ok eventually, whatever happens. Trusting myself and my future. Trusting the Universe.
Are you taking similar steps when that happens to you as well? I would love to know if it resonates, and if you have more tips I would welcome those too!
In France it’s still too early to wish you a great year, but at least I want to wish you a great ending of 2015, I already did an accomplishment list (came up with 21 items!) and I suggest you do the same, you will be amazed at how many things you accomplished in a year!