What do you believe?

Hello gorgeous,

I started reading a very interesting book about success and I wanted to share some thoughts with you. The book is about being successful and how what you believe about yourself influences your chances of success. It’s called “Mindset, the new psychology of success” from Carol Dweck.

So, basically, it all depends whether you approach things with a fixed mindset (“I am born with a certain IQ and it will stay like that all my life”) or with a growth mindset (“I can increase my IQ if I work on it”). I find that fascinating, and I had to ask myself how my mindset was. I am proud to be a big learner, and to be willing to learn all my life, so that would tend to make me say I have a growth mindset…And yet, I feel that in some areas there are things that I believe I probably can’t overcome (like: “I am not a saleswoman, I don’t know how to sell myself nor my services”). That’s kind of contradictory, but it only means that my beliefs about my ability and my capacity for growth are limited to certain areas (and completely inexistent in others!).

I now want to take some time to examine in which areas I believe my ability to be “fixed”, and also to understand how to switch that after recognizing it.

It sounds a lot like getting rid of limiting beliefs 😉 and I want to come back to it with you once I have progressed on that!

For now I would like to ask you the same question, what do you believe to be true about yourself? And in which areas do you feel “fixed”? Could it be about your capacity to sell (like me), your capacity to learn something new like a music instrument, to earn money, to become more organized, to learn to manifest to your advantage, even your capacity to reverse your limiting beliefs…

To end this first post of my 2^nd blogging year ;-), I would like to thank you for your replies to my last post (looks like you like interacting with me pretty much the way it is currently) and to let Emma and Sonia know that they won a coaching session with me! Congratulations ladies!

And I just want to let you know as well that you are more than welcome to come back to me any time with your comments!

I wish you a wonderful week!

Much love, Madeleine

Party time!

Hello gorgeous,

We made it! Yes, you and me, we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary. Ok, maybe you haven’t been with me since I started, but hey, you are there and it’s what counts!

And I am proud of having consistently blogged every week for a year now. No, I am not planning to stop any time soon ;-). I am planning to go on and to continue feeling inspired and hopefully inspire you as well. It’s funny how I receive feedback every week from some of you and how some things resonate with some on a certain week, and the next week it’s with another one, I love it, I am really happy reading your messages and it keeps me going as well! Even if you are not all reading it all the time, the fact that you are staying with me means a lot to me! So a big thank you from the bottom of my heart!

As I write now, seated in front of my computer, I can read this card I received long time ago from my friend Agnes, stating: “Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life”. I made it my motto, and I started living by it. It wasn’t easy at first, but I think I can say that I am happy most of the times nowadays. However, I am currently missing something. What I am missing is not love, it’s not work, it’s not sisterhood, it’s not sun, I have all of that and it makes me happy every day. What I am currently missing is my destination.

So even though I can pretty much be happy, as a way of life, I want to, I choose to reconnect with my big why, and that’s my declaration today. It might not happen right away, but I feel it’s my next task, to take some time for myself and to ask myself what it is that I (still) want to accomplish, to live, to feel etc. I even considered doing a mood board again, not as a finished product, but for the exploration itself, for the taking a picture and wondering how it makes me feel and do I want to feel like that…There are things I do know already though: that I want to continue helping others develop and feel better, that I want to go to Bali on a retreat, that I want to lead retreats myself…

So now I would love you to play with me and let me know in which way I can help you better. How about answering those 3 questions:

• What topics would you like me to write about
• In which ways would you like to interact with me: would you like face to face interactions, videos, challenges, group meetings, online circles, whatever you can think of, let me know!
• What would you like to win (coming from me of course!)

At the end of the week, I will pick a winner and let you know in the next post who and what!

Thanks again for being there with me!!!

I wish you a wonderful week!

Much love, Madeleine

Why change?

Change can be very uncomfortable. For most of us, it is definitely, most of the times. And at the very least, it requires some effort on our side. Changing job, moving place, moving country, becoming a parent, getting into a new relationship or stopping an existing relationship, our kids leaving the nest, the death of a loved one, those can all be challenging situations to face.

So why do we have to put ourselves through it?

I can see the following reasons for change:

• Not changing is becoming more uncomfortable than changing. If we get stuck in a relationship that’s going the wrong direction, and we don’t have any hope of it transforming for the best, then stopping it seems to be the best solution, even though it means putting your kids (and yourself) through an ordeal for a while. If we get stuck in a job, and the only thing we want when waking up in the morning is to stay in bed, it’s time to look for another one…

• If we don’t change, we can’t expect others (or the situation) to change. As Tony Robbins, says, “By changing nothing, nothing changes”. We may want our partner to be more sensitive to our needs, we may want people to respect us more, but if we do nothing about it, how are they going to know that that’s what we want? To command respect from others, we need to show respect for ourselves first, and we need to set our boundaries loud and clear. It’s only by changing our attitude that they will notice the difference and adapt their behavior. If they don’t adapt, fine too, we know what to do 😉

• Changing is learning. I don’t know about you, but I am an avid learner and I always want to learn something new, and to develop myself, my skills, my abilities. So I take (nearly) every occasion I can to learn. Even though it can be very scary. When I started going to networking events as an entrepreneur, I had to start talking to strangers and introducing myself…When I started teaching, in front of a classroom filled with around 30 students, me, the shy and introvert Madeleine, I had to overcome a lot of fear and to going far beyond my comfort zone… But I am still there, learning something different now, but always learning…

• The environment is changing and you have to adapt. Maybe not the preferred reason for change I admit, but still a good reason to learn, develop your self. Definitely a good time to assess your wants and needs and check if they are still met… And if not, take responsibility for your self and claim what you want and what you need, and it’s yet another opportunity to grow as a human being.

• The only constant is change (dixit Heraclitus). In that context, standing still is actually moving backwards… We can’t stop change more than we can make time stand still, so let’s embrace change instead of resisting it!

I wish you a wonderful week full of (positive) changes!

Much love, Madeleine

How to choose your glasses?

Hello gorgeous,

Even though I really need to get a new pair of glasses for myself and I often have difficulties knowing what shape and color suits me best, this is not exactly what I want to talk about today ;-).

I want to talk about the pair of glasses you use to look at the world. We all have one. We all see a different world, based on our vision of how it all works, our education, our school system, our religion etc. And it might serve us well, or not.

Remember, when we fall in love, we see the world through a pair of pink glasses? How everything looks beautiful, simply because we are in love?

And how, when we are depressed, it all seems black or grey?

Did you ever heard of that management game, the 6 thinking hats? (Click here if you want more info, it was created by Edward de Bono). The idea is that each hat has a color and represents a certain way of thinking. By mentally wearing a certain hat, we take on the corresponding role and express ourselves accordingly. For example, a Green Hat symbolizes creativity, so the person wearing it will look for possibilities, alternatives, new ideas, and new concepts. While wearing the Yellow Hat, you will explore the positives, show brightness and optimism. And if you wear the Black hat, you are the devil’s advocate and will spot difficulties, dangers, and all that can go wrong. So while this last one is useful, too much of it is also depressing 😉

So… which color do you think your most used hat is?

And you know what, the best part is that you get to choose, from now on (in case you didn’t know you could!). I know it can feel difficult to try and switch your mood from depressed to positive in a split second, but I am sure it helps visualizing yourself with one of those colored hats (or glasses, if you prefer!)

Now, changing hat or glasses will not change the world around you (yet), but it will change your point of focus, and that’s a lot! When I tell people I don’t watch the news, most react surprised, like they would not even think of not watching them, like I am crazy! But why am I doing that? Because I choose not to be polluted with negativity every day, I choose to focus on what’s positive instead. I will no doubt know about all those terrible things happening because I will come across them on Facebook or somebody will tell me anyway, but at least I decide what I get to watch and I decide to focus on the positives in my life and around me.

And that comes back (again) to the Law of Attraction, as the more I see positives, the more I see good things to be grateful for in my life, the more I will attract more of those good things.

Do you think you can give it a shot? Focus on the positives, putting on a Yellow hat for a while (or pink glasses!), and let aside (as much as possible) the negativity around you? Even if it’s that time of year when you have to do your tax declaration, or annoying papers, can you look at the task ahead with optimism and looking at the bright side of it?

I wish you a wonderful week!

Much love, Madeleine