How to use language to lighten up your life ☺

Hello gorgeous,

Have you noticed how often you used words like “I need to …, I should …, I must…”.

I have! And I am probably guilty of doing it as well, but as always it is a lot easier to detect it in conversations with others when they say something like that 😉

My girlfriends know me by now and they are already used to paying attention to that if they don’t want me to notice and stop them and ask them: “Really, you need to do that” or “Should you …?”. The other one that I often hear – and this one I haven’t yet managed myself to stop using, is “I want…”.

There are entire books dedicated to the use of language, I read one or two on that topic (“Conscious language: The logos of now” by Robert Tennyson Stevens), but I simply want choose here to give you the easiest ways to replace the most common ones:

  • Instead of: “I need to do that, I should do that, I must do that, I have to do that”. Use: “I choose to do that”, or “I decide to do that”. In the first case you are a victim, in the 2nd you are responsible for your actions, and that’s quite a big difference! Other options could be: I claim, I have, I deserve, I enjoy.
  • Instead of: “I want to be so and so”, say “I am so and so” or “I choose to be so and so”. Using “I want to” is only declaring your want to the Universe, which will conspire to keep it as a want (and not give it to you!!!). “I am” is the most powerful, and “I choose” is pretty good too!
  • On top of that, we also often use negative sentences, like: “I can’t, I don’t know” … or with negative words like “blocked, hard” etc. You can always rephrase the sentences in a positive way, even though it might feel like it’s only an affirmation you repeat like a mantra and it does not yet feel like your reality. E.g. “It’s too hard” can become “I choose to make it easy”
  • Another one you could remove from your vocabulary is “try”. Saying “I’ll try…” is simply giving yourself a chance to escape or to not succeed… I suggest replacing it by “I will”… Because then you commit to doing something, you are doing your part of the work!
  • And please please please never again say: “This is killing me…” if you don’t wan’t to get sick!!!


Even though there is a lot more to language than what I just presented you, if you can pay attention to your use of words and already make those few and small changes, I guarantee you will already feel lighter! And already paying attention and becoming conscious of the words you say is a good first step :-).

Have a wonderful week!

Much love,


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