My recent 2 surgeries got me thinking a lot (= far too much). When I heard, back in September, that I had to have a surgery to get rid of a carcinoma on my face, I realized I had been lucky enough to spend the first 50 years of my life surgery free and without any major disease. The first surgery was performed, and 2 weeks later I got the news that I had to go back for a 2nd one, as the plastic surgeon hadn’t removed everything (in spite of taking the necessary margins). I was devastated. It had taken me so long to accept and be happy with the way I looked, and now I was going to have to do that all again…
It also made me wonder if I would have had the courage to fight it, had it been a different form of cancer. And I was in search of meaning. What had I done (or not done) to bring about something like this to myself? Biological decoding gave me “abandon” but I still could not make enough sense of it. Yes, I felt abandoned, but was that it and what could I do about it now?
The next clue came from a Reiki Master (and Channel) who told me it was about self-acceptance. Now that stayed with me and resonated much more. So I decided to do a “Self-Love Manifesto” for myself, as an exercise of reconciliation with myself. As much as I hope to look more like I used to (instead of the way I look now, with a 5 cm red scar and a swollen part on the inner side of my left eye – although I wouldn’t compare myself to a Picasso portrait anymore as I did right after the surgery), I also know this will take (a lot of) time and I will never be the exact same again.
So I can choose to love myself anyway (and that’s what my husband said, God bless him) or I can choose to complain and mourn the old me. I can give myself time to come to terms with this whole story and go on with my life. The choice is up to me and today I choose Love. What do you choose today?
I give you my manifesto as an example and a blank one for you to do yours, should you wish to.
Take good care of yourself and enjoy life!
Much love, Madeleine